The journey begins..

Disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist, doctor or expert on anything. I'm just a mum with a computer and an opinion or two.

Alright. I have been toying with the idea of a blog for a long time, in some self-important, surely-I-must-have-earth-shattering-things-to-say kind of way.


Friends have advised me to blog, but until now I really wasn't sure what to blog about.


I'm a trainer. Regularly.
I make earrings. Occasionally.
I'm a writer. Barely.

Finally, and unfortunately, I suppose, I have something worth talking about. ADHD (and other acronyms).

Last year, my son (let's call him The Child, or TC) started school (that's Prep for those who don't live in Victoria, Australia). He hadn't been exposed to a lot of kinder (pre-school) so we knew it would an interesting time. His experience in kinder was OK, although his carers had mentioned that he didn't seem to understand directions at all and was already developing coping mechanisms, such as waiting to see what other kids did and copying them, rather than listening and following verbal instructions. His confidence was terribly low, he hated even attempting new tasks and had regular meltdowns about them. He hated trying to learn his alphabet, or going anywhere near writing. I was concerned, but not worried.

So Prep year began. Along comes his first report.

TC is a quiet child in class.

I'm sorry, which child is this? Surely not mine? He can be described as many things but quiet isn't one of them. We met his teacher and she expressed concerns about his ability to take direction, to finish tasks, his confidence, his reading and writing, relating to other children, and so on. How interesting none of this ended up in ANY of his reports for the year.

Lesson No 1.1 - school reports are total bullshit. Don't believe anything they say.


Some internet research later and my partner (R) and I wondered whether TC had auditory processing issues. His behaviour fitted and he also fitted a probable clinical background for it - a child who had impaired hearing during language development (deafness due to glue ear). Off we went to a centre that assesses these things. Auditory Processing I could cope with.

At this point in writing this I want to stop and delete it all. We could go into the detail of this first assessment and our feelings about the centre but I honestly feel too negative about it. I now know I should have gone to the GP first and organised a referral to a paediatrician. The centre assessed him, did loads of tests on him, and generally enjoyed the $550 it cost us. When we met up for the feedback session, we got the shock of our lives.

Nope, no auditory processing issues. Perfecto in that department.

Oh, really?

Yes, but it looks like he has ADHD (Combined Type).

Oh, really? (Quiet weeping from me).

So here's a plan for how we'd like to treat him (feel free to mortgage your house again now to pay for it all).

Lesson No 1.2 - get a referral to a paediatrician before going to anyone else.


We were unimpressed by the response from the psychologist at the centre and even more unimpressed with the report. Unimpressed with a diagnosis given by someone who makes a shedload of money out of treating people with learning issues. Why had we not gone to a paediatrician first? Because we had no clue that was the process. I'm betting this isn't unusual. Off we went to the GP for a referral.

We have met with the paediatrician once so far. She confirmed the diagnosis.

Shit.

She was wonderful and TC really responds well to her.

Hallelujah!

  

We have a series of appointments with her to assess whatever else might be going on for him on top of the ADHD. Comorbid conditions, they call them. Ewww. Comobidity is a terribly negative term and always makes me think of death. Actually they're just co-existing conditions that relate to each other. In the case of ADHD, it might be Dyslexia, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Conduct Disorder (CD)... you're getting the acronym idea now, right?

This is the point we're at now. We know he has ADHD Combined Type - so that's Attention Deficit Disorder, Hyperactivity Disorder (both together). This means that, compared to other children his age, he cannot concentrate, cannot sit still, (can't even stand still to play a game), cannot take instruction, constantly interrupts, cannot control impulses, has uncontrollable rages (we'll cover meltdowns in another blog post), talks constantly, cannot stand loud noises, must touch everything around him, forgets and loses everything, has hyper-focused periods, and so on.

We're now in the process of working out what else is going on for him, and then what strategies he needs.

The school knows, and is making the right noises. Time will tell.

At least now we know why as parents, this job seems harder for us that for others. I keep remembering snippets that now make sense.

Wow, he's the Energizer Bunny, isn't he?!

TC was about two and a half. Yes, he IS the Energizer Bunny, as we now know.

Gosh, he's quite full on, isn't he?!

Ha! Yes.

So what's this blog going to be about? I'm not sure yet. I hope to offer some funny anecdotes, and some hints and tips for unsuspecting players in this ADHD game. I hope other parents of ADHD can gain some insight and some understanding that they're not alone, and enjoy some alleviation of guilt.


Lesson No 1.3 - you are neither a crap parent, nor alone.


I plan to cover the following subjects (and more) in upcoming blog posts: 

• Emotions - yep, it SUCKS to be a parent of an ADHD child. And it's OK to say so.
• The science - yep, it is a real condition so stop looking at me like I'm a bad parent.
• School - enough said.
• Computer games - heaven or hell?
• Genetics - guilt by association.
• Medication - oh the horror!
• Meltdowns - oh yes the elephant in the room (that trashes it).
• Resources - what's out there in the real and virtual world that might help.

More than anything else I want this blog to be honest. I can't promise to be cheery and happy in each post, because I won't propagate the lies out there that being a parent (to any child, let alone one with special needs) is all a bed of roses. There are quite a few weeds, snails, thorns and half-buried sharp objects in this garden bed. So be prepared and also be warned that there may be juicy language cropping up from time to time. Don't complain to me, you have been warned. ;-)

To everyone who reads this - thank you for sharing with me, R and of course TC. Welcome to the journey. Please leave me a message if there's something specific you'd like me to write about.